Mother’s Day

It’s Mother’s Day today. Have you done anything for your mom?

For some, they criticise that such occasion (akin to Valentine’s Day) is absolutely unnecessary. If you are a filial child, then each living day would be Mother’s Day to your mom. If you are a loving other half, then each living day would be Valentine’s Day to your special half.

Yes, I absolutely agree with the above statement. BUT that does not translate to discounting your mom on a special day. Just like drugs, regularly dosage of any drugs (over a long time) would eventually nullify its effects. You may tell your mom that you love her everyday, but eventually this “love” would more or less lose its taste. If you could add an extra punch on a special day and DO something for your mom, then why not? Tbh, it’s not that hard. From a dinner, to a small bouquet or simply a heartfelt handwritten card is more than enough. As long as you TRY to make the day a little different, she can feel it and she would appreciate it. Yes yes, I could see that some would be rolling their eyes at the “superficial” and “materialistic” thought of mine but uh… that’s what I feel about it. At times, some impracticality ain’t much of a sin.

Rather than SAYING just Thank You, why not let your actions prove what you mean?

APPRECIATION

does not involve only a word of “thanks”.

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Today, I handed her a bouquet of flowers – a gift from my brother who is studying overseas. I then captured the moments of her gentling caressing the soft petals of the flowers. “It must be expensive, but it’s beautiful”. “This pink flower is so beautiful…”  etc etc. Her happy voice was so soothing to my ears and calmed my nervous heart. ps: I was so prepared for her to blast out “WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY!!!!” Then, the happy voice stopped and I heard sobs. I looked up from my phone and was completely thrown off guard by her tears. Tears flowed against her will as she sniffed and fought to wipe off those tears with the back of her hand. Watching tears rolling down her cheeks, my nose tingled and my heart ached. In between her sobs, she muttered: “谢谢你们”.  There was no need for thanks because she well deserves these reciprocating love from her two children.

 

I love you mummy

 

Darkness.

She fear darkness. She fear darkness for it robs her of her vision. She fear darkness for it casts uncertainty. She fear darkness for it engulfs her.

The night sky has again fallen, and darkness has set in the city. Here she is in her room with lights turned on but her heart is nothing but darkness. She doesn’t see the light at the end of the path. But again, is she on the path? Even if she is, is she on the right path? Where is she? And most importantly, who is she?

She thought she had gotten better. She thought that void in the heart had been filled. I thought she was happy. She supposed she was genuinely happy but that state of joy was utmostly fragile. It took months for the heart to gain strength but yet only a couple of days to crumble, yet again.

What happens during life after death? When the pair of eyes that was once filled with hope closes, would one experience darkness? Or would one finally be alleviated from all her/his pain?

The search for answer continues. The journey to make peace with oneself continues.

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ps: In the summer of 2016, I had visited Mapo Bridge in Seoul, aka Suicide bridge. I had updated a gallery of my visit with a short blogpost of thoughts. Hope over to click if you would like to read/see. 

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